half of a half of an open letter to my missing other half

January 16, 2012 § 6 Comments

dictated to myself and unsealed with the hopes that the message will reach you in time
and i’ll recognize you
from some other time before time some place before place—-
when we stood in some long line as we awaited our souls to be handed out and introduced to Adam
tied to one another by the knot of fate
familiar from then though it’ll be hard to place the face before you had a face
—but faith guides

this is post haste white rabbit i’m late i’m late and i’m sorry about that
but all these papers and jigsaw pieces the wind kept plucking from my fingers
made the picture hard to put together

but it’s a simple question similar to the one posed to jasmine when aladdin asked
‘do you trust me’ when he was still a street rat on the surface
-though he was already a prince despite the patched pants and lack of a turban-
this is back before the confirmed legends of subliminal messages
this is back before the lamp and the monkey and the magic carpet
this is back when they were running from the law with drawn swords in the market
I am 1001 arabian knights in unpolished armor of the heart but i’m working on it its hard work

and I could use a hand in this work

where is the maiden with those piercing hawk eyes that
sees through this skin and bones-monkey- suit  of mine right down to the molecular structure of this babbling filibusterer
as it was written to be on the Sacred Tablet above the Throne

who understands what it means to be maniac stick figure in disguise
mild mannered clark kent peter parker Aracnaphobe or bruce wayne or
a harvey dent is a better description–

who knows what it means to think in run on sentences that carry on past the edge of the page that last for several days straight sometimes things get carried away

followed by silence for weeks on end long deep pauses inbetween breaths
when all the letters wiped from my tongue by the beauty of the peeling paint on the ceiling
would you mind standing in awe in silence with me for a time

who sees that sometimes its hard to stands still in this skin with all this rabbit in my blood
but i’ll slow down again
who sees sometimes its hard to keep up being tortoise shell-clad
but i’ll come crawling out this heavy tortoise shell again
slow and steady wins in the end

who sees that seeing the globe through strobe light eyes like mine
like late night traffic light signals
can be a bit exhausting
but i’ll still shove myself into the box of responsibility for your sake
even wrap it and add a pretty bow and a card with a heartfelt message that I wrote
though be forewarned my handwriting’s poor but i’ll try my best to make it legible
for your sake

a Majnoon– coattails dragged to halt to the sniff of the bleeding roses
red running off their petals at inconvenient moments
but I must answer the call because
when the lightning strikes i’m awestruck

–A Majnoon whose coattails tugged on by you as Laila beckoning me to spill from these pores far fetched verses about by gone times
starring you as Laila a past lover or present or future whenever I pass by your abandoned tent or a scarf with an intense pattern that resembles your speech pattern in some way in my mind or catch a whiff of some scent some something that conjures up memories fabricated or authentic the point is I meant it.

i ain’t talkin about the vultures that want to pick over a rotting carcass for golden rocks

i’m talking about a Goldielocks subtract the goldie locks
but keep the moderation that she had a firm grasp of
as demonstrated by her love for what was “just right” because
a balanced path though always off a little because…
well that’s what it means to be made of mud…
not a balanced path as dictated by fading modern standards
i mean a golden mean that rather scoffs in the face of time even when we’re a sea of bones
Divine in origin and we can continue on the other side

where are you
the one who can see the pearl in the grain of sand before it ended up in the oyster’s mouth
or the beanstalk before the magic beans planted
before I slipped the golden goose from under the fury of the fee fi fo fum of the giant
and brought it back to you

my partner in crime
a complementary blue to my orange red to my green
to make my colors jump from their planes through your presence
see the brilliance in eachother’s canvas it’s not just scribble marked madness
and the colors bleeding through to the other side are even more striking

a punch-drunk love hunchback of notre dame— mon dame
come see me in the bell tower and i’ll do the same for you
when you’re locked behind heavy wooden door

All I have to do is find the magic words


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§ 6 Responses to half of a half of an open letter to my missing other half

  • KeenaBeena says:

    That was beautiful, subhanAllah, my eyes watered reading that.

  • Love it. So real, mashaAllah. … I adore how you used literature throughout to shed light on your sentiments. At times, the analogies were fun and I smiled a playful smile. At times, they were intense as in the example of Majnun. I have had Qays and Layla on my mind these days as well… may we all realize has Qays did. May we all feel as he felt. The very best was the Alustu bi Rabbikum moment… so powerful. May you find she who was with you then, by His Grace, just when it is the right time.

    • Alhamdulillah–thank you for your reflections on it–very insightful. always interesting to see how others read it and perceive things. I’m glad that you point to its realness despite the fact it often drifts into this sort of fantasy world with all the references to fairy tales, because i think it is about layers of these things and how they interact. ameen to your du’ahs and may we all be united in this, way, if only a taste of it now, but the Truest kind in the time to come.

  • Sabina E. says:

    very nice piece, bro, i love how you inserted characters/references from classic and world literature.

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